Learning to Disagree Better

It’s no secret that our nation feels divided. Turn on any news channel, and you’ll find pundits and politicians calling each other names, talking past each other, and scoring soundbites for social media at the cost of making progress. Genuinely listening to someone you disagree with, and embracing new perspectives, can feel like a lost art.

But it doesn’t have to.

Respectful civil discourse is a skill, and like any skill worth having, it takes practice. But getting started takes something more difficult than hours of effort: courage.

Courage to share your opinion, even when others might push back.

Courage to sit with the discomfort of a genuinely good argument you didn't expect.

Courage to say, “I hadn't thought of it that way.”

And the courage to walk away from a discussion with a changed perspective.

Deliberative Citizenship Initiative

This year, Davidson Day began a first-of-its-kind partnership with Davidson College’s Deliberative Citizenship Initiative. As the first high school to collaborate with this program, Davidson Day School students have the unique opportunity to engage in meaningful civil discourse with their peers about some of the most complex and contentious issues facing our country today.

In the partnership’s inaugural year, thirteen Davidson Day Upper School students attended expert panel discussions, read deliberation packets, and participated in two-hour small-group deliberations for two different topics: Balancing Liberty and General Welfare: The Case for Social Safety Nets, and Justice and the Rule of Law: The Case for Constitutional Rights. 

They weren’t debating to win. They were listening with intention, speaking with purpose, and respectfully engaging with differing perspectives in thoughtful dialogue. Our students took on some of our nation’s most divisive issues, such as abortion, Medicaid and Medicare, and constitutional interpretation, and they were courageous enough to show up and learn from every conversation.

When I first walked into the Carolina Inn to do that first deliberation, I was so scared. I was scared I would get laughed at. I was scared I might stutter and embarrass myself. But ultimately, I came up with a really nuanced worldview of those topics that we had, and also a way to disagree with people and still be friends with them and still take away something important from that. So I would say don't be afraid to try new things. Don't come in with a closed attitude, a closed mindset, because if you come in with an open mindset, then you'll truly learn something really valuable.

Deolu Akingbade '26

The Deliberative Citizenship Initiative is teaching our students to disagree better. To understand that we don’t have to see eye-to-eye to respect one another’s views. To appreciate the importance of diversity of thought. And to recognize that the goal of a hard conversation isn't to come out on top, but to come out more informed, more human, and more connected to the people around you.

That's a lesson that extends far beyond the classroom. And it's one Davidson Day students are already putting into practice.

Learn more about Davidson Day’s partnership with Davidson College’s Deliberative Citizenship Initiative on the latest episode of the Davidson Day Community Podcast with Head of School Andrew Bishop and three students who participated in the deliberations.

I've learned that being wrong isn’t defeating, but rather a valuable learning experience, and you can apply it to other classes. Like for me in math, I think this has taught me to understand process rather than being so fixed on the outcome.

Lillian Rutter '27